Why get married? Because we are more, together than we are side-by-side. I married my deepest love a couple of months ago. I pondered why for months before we decided. And I came to this: Togetherness is deeper than tandem.
Let me back up it hasn’t been as cheery a journey as my Facebook suggests (No one wants to photo document struggle.) I began dating Andy after a year in Divorce Court and a couple of failed relationships that couldn’t withstand the difficult time I was in.
When I attempted to back out of things with Andy in the beginning, sighting all my failures in relationships and entropic life he said, “You know what I do for a living right? I develop design and deploy nuclear weapons, you don’t scare me.”
His clarity and commitment was grounding for me and over the years no matter the challenges in his life or mine, he gets me; he matches my directness, ideals and passion for experiences so together we create amazing moments, spaces and feelings together. I didn’t have to get married for any practical reason, but as I pondered it all I realized, I truly believe in uniting what I feel so deeply on the inside with what I show the world on the outside. I believe that your heart can be worn on your sleeve safely and that beliefs can live from soul through to skin.
In Pilates we teach strength to both the being muscles and the doing muscles. And they are more effective together than they are side by side in supporting the body. What if our being values and our doing values supported each other in a similar way? What if our inner way of being (what we believe, dream, or sense,) supported our daily action all the time?
Most of my frustrating times with anything, weight loss, parenting, jobs or relationships I’ve found my inside (believing, dreaming, sensing) wasn’t married to my outside (doing, working, thinking, behaving)
From the inside out and to have and to hold, love …. I do!