Today I am organizing the words to explain to my three sons (James age 5, Jett age 7 and Jared age 10) how to match their feelings and words. This pertains to the Fill Your Cup Lifestyle in that, one of the primary feelings – Hunger is necessary for weight loss and can be confused with other similar feelings of emptiness or boredom later on in life.
It is a new season. Fall is here and what better cornucopia to harvest than an emotional vocabulary from the souls of exuberant little boys!
It all started at Summer Solstice, I asked the boys to share what they wanted to feel during the hot summer so they could harvest a bigger experience by autumn.
I realized, even on that warm June day that developmentally this quarterly forecast of feeling might be too big a concept for my sons. I just kind of wondered what their interpretation would be. After a brief walking meditation my oldest son, Jared said he “wants to have satisfaction that he played every single sport – the best that he could.” I added for clarity that he wanted to work hard and harvest a feeling of accomplishment. He said, “Yea! Exactly!” And I was so delighted!
Then my second son, Jett said he hoped “to harvest a happy feeling that he would be getting a new Halloween Costume!” (He is so practical and animated.) I added for Jett, that he wanted to feel anticipation and then feel delight in his Costume. He agreed and spewed off 6 ideas for Halloween. I was amused at how well they were doing.
Then the atmosphere changed as my little 5-year-old boy, James clearly overwhelmed – broke down in tears and screamed, “This is not FAIR! This is too hard for me! I don’t know the names of my feelings and you shouldn’t ask me this!!” He carried on until my 10 year old helped me calm and carry the frustrated little child, to the car. We have been working on naming feelings on and off for James all summer long.
I can’t tell you how often I hear from people starting the Fill Your Cup Lifestyle, the exact-same-thing. “This is too hard for me!” And they may subconsciously add, “This is not fair, I don’t know the names of my feelings and you shouldn’t ask me this!” (But they don’t verbalize that directly.) It’s not easy – this business of growing up.
As you adjust to Filling Your Cup, are you willing to evaluate your hunger?
Ask yourself, in your hungry moments – What is it, that I REALLY feel? What do I hope to harvest with the ACTION inspired by these feelings?
Can we more clearly fill our emotional cup this season? Blessings and good luck!