Do as I do

I teach pilates classes and have individual core training clients as well as coaching weight loss.  My clients are business owners, great moms and dads, attentive partners and community members.  I would say ALL of my clients are leaders in their own professions.

The leadership that is often most difficult to present are the habits – the subtle differences in the choices we make.  What are your habits?  Do you swear under your breath (yes) do you disrespect people you don’t even know? (yes) do you snack mindlessly disrespecting your own digestion? (yes) There are no perfect humans and I’m not suggesting perfection is the goal.

But maybe your leadership could include identifying 3-5 habits that you show your community you do really well.  Make your priorities visible.  Tell them I’m taking time away from you so I can take care of my body – want to come along?

Show them: This is how I Fill My Cup.

 

Marriage: a demonstration of bringing the inside into view

Why get married? Because we are more, together than we are side-by-side.  I married my deepest love a couple of months ago.  I pondered why for months before we decided.  And I came to this:  Togetherness is deeper than tandem.

Let me back up it hasn’t been as cheery a journey as my Facebook suggests (No one wants to photo document struggle.)  I began dating Andy after a year in Divorce Court and a couple of failed relationships that couldn’t withstand the difficult time I was in.

When I attempted to back out of things with Andy in the beginning, sighting all my failures in relationships and entropic life he said, “You know what I do for a living right?  I develop design and deploy nuclear weapons, you don’t scare me.”

His clarity and commitment was grounding for me and over the years no matter the challenges in his life or mine, he gets me; he matches my directness, ideals and passion for experiences so together we create amazing moments, spaces and feelings together.   I didn’t have to get married for any practical reason, but as I pondered it all I realized, I truly believe in uniting what I feel so deeply on the inside with what I show the world on the outside.   I believe that your heart can be worn on your sleeve safely and that beliefs can live from soul through to skin.

In Pilates we teach strength to both the being muscles and the doing muscles.  And they are more effective together than they are side by side in supporting the body.  What if our being values and our doing values supported each other in a similar way? What if our inner way of being (what we believe, dream, or sense,) supported our daily action all the time?

Most of my frustrating times with anything, weight loss, parenting, jobs or relationships I’ve found my inside (believing, dreaming, sensing) wasn’t married to my outside (doing, working, thinking, behaving)

From the inside out and to have and to hold, love …. I do!

wedding kissWEDDING CROPPED KISSwedding pic lil sqintywedding big hug

“Suffering is the swiftest steed to redemption.” – Medieval common-phrase

The sad truth is pain avoidance is a bigger motivator than pleasure seeking. So, work with that. If you want to change your body, your health, style, your whatever…. How painful can your imagination make, the idea of being stuck in this situation here f-o-r-e-v-e-r (Can you hear the deep echoing voice?) Sit with that suffering and then redeem yourself!

When I work with a person with cancer, they work hard, they’re all in.   Doing homework isn’t a coaxing thing for a guy with prostate cancer looking toward wearing diapers the rest of his life. He’ll do 20 min of homework not once, but twice a day! The woman getting a flatter tummy before her class reunion isn’t nearly as committed. Why?  The suffering is less.   The humiliation with adult diaper leaking has incredible social pain and being a little chubby at middle age is not only accommodated in our society but also expected.

Find your suffering and you’ll find the courage to develop the self-discipline to Fill Your Cup.

Quitting: a choice

Quitting is a choice.

People without conviction choose it.

Why have you started toward this goal and does it really matter to you? Most people I’ve met who miss their goals get distracted, lose interest and make excuses. If you get past your immediate feelings, and you decide the goal you had matters to you then it’s worth growing up for.

Put your childish ADD, instant gratification excuses aside and develop your tenacity. You are worth it! Unless this goal really doesn’t matter and then deliberately change directions. I’ve yet to meet a weight loss client who says. “The 15 lbs I wanted to lose I’ve decided to keep them and wear them with pride.” But, maybe one day?

Choose wisely. Fill Your Cup.

Simmer

Life isn’t a multiple choice test, your first instinct isn’t always your best guess.

I’m learning to let things simmer. If you have been in my cycle class you’ve heard me say just because I feel something and can articulate it doesn’t make it truth. Feeling something and articulating it in my mind or even farther out to my voice doesn’t make that thought my truth, or a truth some one else should adopt. If you notice your current thought doesn’t match your goal can you divest from that thought for a moment or a season and see where your dream will take you?

That’s somewhat esoteric, I know so, here are some examples from my daily life.

Thought A: “I’m too tired to work out today, I should get extra rest since rest prevents wrinkles I may be better off…” But your goal was to work out 5 days a week and this is a day you can. Get up and give it a shot some exercise is better than no exercise.

Thought B: “It’s hot in this room, I really didn’t want to work out this hard today, and I’m done.” Why did you come to class in the first place, to burn off some steam or weight or…?

Thought C: “I don’t want a step-father for my kids, I won’t get married again until they’re grown up.” But your goal is deep connection and love. There are many options if you can open your imagination and re-write your own rules of the game.

Fear is easier than faith. Faith takes time to simmer, but faith is worth so much more, so Fill Your Cup.

Recipe for this Bison Meat Stew, a whole clove of Garlic minced 2 small yellow onions, one yellow pepper, 3 Tablespoons of frozen mashed potatoes left from Thanksgiving, one small yam, one small parsnip, 2 handfuls of mushrooms, 3 cubes beef bullion, a shake of tarragon, 3X a pinch of truffle salt, water and time to simmer. *Note simmer is a low intensity choice on your stovetop.

Bison Stew

Bison Stew

Book Signing this weekend in Park City, UT

Atticus_FillYourCup_Flier

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”   – JOSEPH CAMPBEL.

It takes a courageous type of soul to talk about weight management before Thanksgiving, when the weather is cold and all you really want is a mocha and a muffin.  But you’ll feel and look better when the sweater eventually comes off if you come explore appetite and life balance with me this Sunday at Atticus at 10 am, I’ll be there with my honey latte, no one will judge your order, so sip what you like.   I can’t wait to meet you.  Love,  Julie

“….like the lasting remnant of a summer strawberry.”

“….like the lasting remnant of a summer strawberry.”

Those of you who’ve taken classes with me for years know I read the paper. I read the Sunday New York Times from my tub and it takes me until Thursday night.

There’s a great article by Amanda Fortini in the magazine this week about lipstick. (By “the magazine” I mean The New York Times Style Magazine.) Maybe because I wasn’t allowed to wear red lipstick in high school, I think red lipstick is the height of woman-hood. I am, like the author unlikely to paint on showy make up every day. No one’s mistaken me for a glamour girl or a diva, in day to day life. Yet the line in Breakfast at Tiffany’s where Audrey Hepburn says, “hand me my purse darling a girl can’t read that kind of thing with out her lipstick” stirs my inner Aphrodite and inspires all the bliss of being a woman.

But I am all 42 years into woman hood now with the wrinkles to prove I’ve done hard things and I’ve laughed a lot more than I’ve cringed. I have lines in my skin and I wonder how red lipstick may bleed into my lip line like the raspy voiced, chain smoking piano teacher I had as a kid? (She had red lines of her mouth etching outward like a mini rivers of blood flowing from a dangerous sea.) Do I need a primer? a plumper? I need a plan!

The plan: layer layer layer: bases, lip liners and pigments and then blot blot, fading out the color in order to look berry stained rather than painted on. The formulas of new lipsticks bleed less but they still sell bases. Your finished look is beautiful prepared for an evening of LIFE, eating drinking kissing and smiling. Not to slick or perfect (whew) I’m in – all in!

I bought a Wallgreens option for $30 Sally Hansen primer Covergirl liner (Passion) and Covergirl Blastfipstick (Vixen) as well as a Nordstrom option fro $65 Kisskiss lip lift and a Nars (Fire down below) I think I’ll wear them all at once. Why not?

Living lean is as much about filling your cup with life, sometimes its about what fills you up away apart from meals, for me, today, it’s lipstick – what is your appetite for life craving? What fills your cup?

 

piano pic w lips

Naturally Skinny is really a matter of perspective.

As soon as I typed that I knew there would be mis-understandings by the Oprah contingency saying, “Yup, that’s right, skinny is whenever you feel good in your own skin.” I don’t think that’s the real problem with Americans today. I was just at the Water Park and lots of people are feeling way too comfortable in their own skin. It’s absurd the parts spilling out of swimwear this time of year. Some self-awareness and a full-length mirror would go along way to the cure for diabetes.

Naturally skinny people have a different perspective about food than naturally heavy people. Skinny people eat whatever they want, and they feel like they eat a lot. But what they really want to eat is totally different than what naturally heavy people want to eat. Where skinny people gloat at how much they eat (and I’ve watched and journal them it’s not that much food over a week’s time) heavy people feel deprived when they don’t get to gorge themselves.

What and how much food you want to consume, that is your appetite. Yes, eating too many calories makes you fat. And wanting too many calories keeps you fat. For a while you can discipline yourself into a diet plan that constricts your meals to certain foods and meal frequencies but why you want so many calories, Appetite is what you are left with long after your enthusiasm for your fad diet has worn off.

Fill Your Cup is a weight loss book and lifestyle www.fill-your-cup.com Contact Jp@fill-your-cup.com to buy the book and for coaching.

Life’s more fun if you don’t keep score

My person (“boyfriend” seems strange at our age) and I were playing golf this weekend. We were laughing and treating our twosome as a moving driving range experience more than a game when he said, “Golf’s a lot more fun when you don’t keep score.” I replied, “Life’s a lot more fun when you don’t keep score.” We both smiled because Andy and I have had this conversation many many times before.

How does it relate to Fill Your Cup? (New readers, FYC is a philosophy of life balance and weight management.) Well, to me when you are counting calories, measuring portions and obsessing on a particular meal plan for weight loss you loose sight and sensation of the essence of your hunger.

Are you certain about:
What and how much do you really need?
What feels like need and what may be want?
Can you make peace with your own headspace to be hungry a little while longer if you are trying to lose weight or make heavier choices if you are trying to gain weight?

I realize in our highly productive and effective society (I too was raised on Steven Covey’s 7 habits) that doing is more celebrated than being. However because eating and hunger are sentient experiences, perhaps being with those feelings in the moment is more effective than scoring, measuring and accounting all around them.

Ask yourself questions, share your answers, your hunger, your feelings and always Fill Your Cup.