Easy-Bliss 1, 2, 3

Once over a decade ago, I was sad. I was maxed out exhausted with little children and I was trying to be a good mother, teacher, laundry manager, PTA activist, family archivist/publicist, a teacher and friend.

It wasn’t Zoloft, Wellbutrin, prayer or meditation that saved me. (not that any of those things are bad) I made a new habit that pulled me out of my sadness.

I decided to evaluate every activity required in life and put them into 3 categories:

  1. Inspiring
  2. Restoring
  3. Draining

In category 1) I found teaching and playing catch in the park, walking with a friend or working in my garden.

In category 2) I found writing, cooking, laundry and putting the kids to sleep.

In category 3) I found cleaning floors, prepping the taxes and meetings.

I decided to outsource or limit with extreme rigor all activities in category 3. Like any habit, the more your practice it the more precise you become at it.  After a decade of practice,  I’m completely repelled by anything in category 3.  I am not afraid of change and that helps me extract myself from situations that qualify as excessively draining.  I’m also not a control freak, for example you may clean my floor any way you want to just don’t ask me to take time away from my category one or two commitments for it.

I have more energy and bliss than ever.

Is it realistic?  Not all the time, I still have to prepare taxes, and the occasional meeting cannot be avoided.  This habit cut some activities that I valued out of my life, but I adjusted and filled my life with experiences I also value and inspire me.  My energy level is high and my love of life is even higher. So the habit is worth it to me.

In Fill Your Cup I repeat, eat only what feels sustaining – leave out the junk. My life choices align in similar principle. Bring commitments to your life that inspire you, leave out the junk and you will live a blissful, inspired life.

“You cant beat what you cant block” – Adidas Football US

 

FOOTBALL_3

It’s Super Bowl 50 and I’m snuggled with my 11 year old on the couch flipping through twitter during the penalties and I see Adidas Football posts “You can’t beat what you can’t block.”   Ah-Ha!! In football speak THAT is the key to weight loss!   If you can block your hunger, like an offensively lineman, you’ll have the opening to score into your dream body! BE tough! Hold your blocks!

EVERY Weight loss plan on the market will work for you if you have 2 beliefs:

Weight loss plans are not published if they have never been successful and yet most of the diets out there fail more people than they serve (yes sadly even Fill Your Cup.) The 2 thoughts that determine your success are:

#1) I believe this process can and will work for me.

#2) I am worth the effort.

If those two thoughts ring loudly in your ears every minute of the day, they will become beliefs. When those two thoughts are big, you can feel them in your heart and in your gut. Then your weight loss process will be successful.

When people fail at their plan it is because one (or usually both) of those beliefs are faltering. People failing, have gotten more weak in their belief than their appetite is strong.

Stay strong. Believe in your process. YOU ARE WORTH IT! Fill Your Cup.

Your inside connections are infinitely more important than your outside connections.

While teaching a pilates reformer class at 6 am today I heard myself say  “If you don’t work the inside, (I was referencing pelvic floor and postural muscles) you can expect less from the outside.”  I believe if you don’t have a clear sense of your inner core it is hard to do any core work. In other words, if your deep core isn’t active and alive – the outside is simply a shell, sometimes a misshapen shell.

The same is true for our headspace, if you don’t have a clear sense of your beliefs and values how can you possibly live by them? What does your shell mean and how easily can it be misshapen?

With Fill Your Cup weight loss, appetite is the core. There are hundreds of weight loss plans and formulas, all of them work if you can muster up the self-control to have an appropriate appetite. The reverse is true, none of them work if you can’t.

So, go inside a moment to the dark, deep center of your being? What do you believe about your body? And how do you wear that belief? Remember, that converting to new beliefs is possible if you want to.

Fill Your Cup.

10 GOOD Choices on the ready!!

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”   – J.K. Rowling

With almost every weight loss coaching client there is a conversation early in our work about a binge eating situation usually when they have downtime in life.   Since I don’t believe in “free foods or “cheat days” to shove their discomfort into I had to direct people to good choices.  It is important that the choices are good for them, for their moments where the indulging is eminent and so I ask for a list.

What are 10 things you can do all by yourself to make yourself calm/happy/full/fulfilled?

For me today (it changes often) here’s my list of good choices rather than taking down time to snack:

1)   Spend time improving my garden

2)   Chopping vegetables to make something yummy, for later

3)   Check the Linked In of my cousin who is rebranding herself and make a positive notes in cyber space

4)  Listen to my best friends’ incredibly talented daughter’s  podcast http://www.rrpod.com/hilarious-online-reviews-out-loud-podcast and laugh till my side aches (hey it’s core work)

5)   Put pictures in my children’s photo albums

6)   Go for a walk

7)   Make a new playlist

8)   Clean a drawer with the intention of giving 5 items to goodwill

9)   Leave a positive voicemail for a friend

10)  Read one of the 4 books my husband is sure I will love!  (and I will, I just haven’t made time…)

 What are 10 things you can do all by yourself to make yourself calm/happy/full/fulfilled?

Go out there and make good choices! Fill Your Cup….

Where to BE…

Many of my students have asked this week about the 2 hammocks in the tree in front of the Fill Your Cup Studio in Phoenix.  I can’t find the ones I bought but if I were buying one today this is the one I would choose.  hammock swing

It is available at Urbanoutfitters.com, and called the Marrakech Swing.   A soft easy rocking motion is where all of my children, my husband, his children and I all feel at peace.  In the home we have in Park City and the home we have in Phoenix there are several places to rock or swing.   Since the many of my posts encourage a balance between being and doing I thought you may like a recommended BE-ing space.

Swing softly, enjoy filling your cup with a special moment with yourself.

Does doing your best compete with being your best?

You know when you are at your best.  You feel great you roll with the punches your sense of humor is easy.  You are likely well rested, have eaten moderate amounts of healthy foods, exercised and loved.  Being your best is a lovely thing.

Think back to when you studied language.  The word “are” has its root form in the infinitive to be – I am, you are, she/he/it is, and we are.

To BE our best, takes some time and attention.  Time we could spend doing.  Doing our jobs, doing our laundry, doing the shopping and doing our busy lives until we are no longer being our best.

Can doing and being, complement or must they compete?

I hope they can complement since functional life skills like keeping a roof over our head, food on our table and finding inspiring ways to spend our energy (a job) is critical to our survival.  Those to do activities are important.  But being at peace, sleeping well, taking deep breaths, enjoying good food, sensing our space, meditating, all the ways we re-charge so to speak, are the being activities.  When we invest in being, the doing seems less strained.

Take a moment and list what you do in a single day and then list how you invest in being. What percentage of your day consumes each list?  Does that work for your values?

Most people I work with on weight loss over eat, when they over do.  I ask again, does doing your best compete with being your best?

Quitting: a choice

Quitting is a choice.

People without conviction choose it.

Why have you started toward this goal and does it really matter to you? Most people I’ve met who miss their goals get distracted, lose interest and make excuses. If you get past your immediate feelings, and you decide the goal you had matters to you then it’s worth growing up for.

Put your childish ADD, instant gratification excuses aside and develop your tenacity. You are worth it! Unless this goal really doesn’t matter and then deliberately change directions. I’ve yet to meet a weight loss client who says. “The 15 lbs I wanted to lose I’ve decided to keep them and wear them with pride.” But, maybe one day?

Choose wisely. Fill Your Cup.

Simmer

Life isn’t a multiple choice test, your first instinct isn’t always your best guess.

I’m learning to let things simmer. If you have been in my cycle class you’ve heard me say just because I feel something and can articulate it doesn’t make it truth. Feeling something and articulating it in my mind or even farther out to my voice doesn’t make that thought my truth, or a truth some one else should adopt. If you notice your current thought doesn’t match your goal can you divest from that thought for a moment or a season and see where your dream will take you?

That’s somewhat esoteric, I know so, here are some examples from my daily life.

Thought A: “I’m too tired to work out today, I should get extra rest since rest prevents wrinkles I may be better off…” But your goal was to work out 5 days a week and this is a day you can. Get up and give it a shot some exercise is better than no exercise.

Thought B: “It’s hot in this room, I really didn’t want to work out this hard today, and I’m done.” Why did you come to class in the first place, to burn off some steam or weight or…?

Thought C: “I don’t want a step-father for my kids, I won’t get married again until they’re grown up.” But your goal is deep connection and love. There are many options if you can open your imagination and re-write your own rules of the game.

Fear is easier than faith. Faith takes time to simmer, but faith is worth so much more, so Fill Your Cup.

Recipe for this Bison Meat Stew, a whole clove of Garlic minced 2 small yellow onions, one yellow pepper, 3 Tablespoons of frozen mashed potatoes left from Thanksgiving, one small yam, one small parsnip, 2 handfuls of mushrooms, 3 cubes beef bullion, a shake of tarragon, 3X a pinch of truffle salt, water and time to simmer. *Note simmer is a low intensity choice on your stovetop.

Bison Stew

Bison Stew

Integrity in the Cup – for Yule

Behave in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Make choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” – Barbara De Angelis

If you say, even only to yourself, “I want to be thin” and you value your own words, you’ll make the choice to put down the beer, the wine, the snacks, the heavy meals because those behaviors are not aligned with your personal values. Living in alignment with yourself alleviates stress and difficulty with in your own heart. If you believe the only way to be healthy is to eat kale and cod – then eat that way. I’m not a doctor, I don’t know if that’s the healthiest choice but I do know this – if you believe it and live that way, the process strengthens your personal integrity and will feel good in your body and mind.

A this Time of year for Eons people have burned a Yule Log attaching the things that no longer serve them. What is in your life but outside of your belief? Burn it off. Let it go. This year live in integrity and align your beliefs and behavior and Fill Your Cup.